I can’t tell anymore. Are Christmas sweater parties cool because they are so uncool? It feels like it is irony on the ironic. Do two positives make a negative? Is it so played that it is worth playing again? This trend has flipped flopped all around so I don’t know whether to love or hate it, or hate that I love it?
Before Christmas sweaters became a huge business there was a more simple way to comment on the orgy of materialism and overdone ostentation of the season, The White Elephant Party. While it has evolved as a way for a jovial group to lightly poke fun of gift giving, and recycle horrible objects, the White Elephant Party actually began as a white elephant.
The albino elephant was a status symbol for Thai Nobility. If the King acquired too many white elephants, extras were given to“friends” and Nobel’s on the King’s shit list. Since the elephants were holy they could not be put to work, and the care of their cost became a huge, often bankrupting, “ha-ha-jokes-on-you” type of burden.
The term applies to infrastructure as well, explaining something that costs more to maintain than it’s worth, but I digress.
Here’s 10 “Timeless” and “Timely” Items to Order for Your Upcoming White Elephant Party:
Poo Emoji– Every eight year old, and eight year old at heart loves the Poo Emoji. The pillow provides the perfect minimalistic commentary on all types of…
Michelangelo’s David Apron– Who needs all that time in the gym to get washboard abs when you can slip one of these over your head and presto.
Lionel Richie Cutting Board– Made of sustainable bamboo, this cutting board is for the environmentalist who has just about everything. It will have the gifted dancing on the ceiling, all night long.
Insult Coffee Mug– Who doesn’t love an afternoon pick me up and put me down?
Honest Wine Glass– Cut out the middle-man and quaff straight from the bottle, in the classiest way possible.
Bean Can Safe– How often would you be wishing you had a can of beans to store your precious items? Wish no more.
Wit and Wisdom of Nigel Farage– Spoiler alert: The book’s pages are blank.
Bore Us Johnson– Impress your neighbourhood rats with this hand signed and framed Boris Johnson photo. Beware, the recipient may feel compelled to leave.
Trump Toilet Paper– Another of his failed businesses that took swirl down the toilet.
Hipster Nativity– This is the nuclear bomb of WE gifts, so corny that it will be regifted until the second coming.